there are 2 regrets that i had till now... 1 is being hot tempered and not thoughtful enough... this weakness cost me a girl that i really love to walk away from me... thru these years (ard 2yrs) i had been thinking y had i not thought of her feelings and y she wud say things like "i having diabetes" (when i whisper sweet things to her) funny thing is, when she said this sentence, i wud usually stop saying anymore sweet whispering to her... but it did not occur to me that she juz love to hear me say those romantic words even she tell me so... and theres once she told me i hardly hold her hands anymore, y din it occur to me that she like to feel the way i hold her hands and pamper her more?... so many things that did not occur to me at that time... and when she knows that i wud get jealous when she goes out on date with other guy she wud not tell me... thats her way of protecting me... y din i thought of it?? and i also found out that i was getting less and less thoughtful to her... i used to put her feelings in first place whenever i wanted to do sth (like asking her out and she rejected) her excuses to me and i accept it and i wud know the reasons behind it... but theres this thing that i dun really understand... when our relationship are at the brinks like had a quarrel or argument, y doesn she make an effort to settle it?? she wud juz like pushing it to me cuz its my fault and dun bother abt it... normally i only find her being selfish... having to settle all the things myself and unable to discuss with her... but does she knows that there are so many things that i wud wan to tell her yet dun have the chance?? cuz she wd say "tell me the solution and not the problem" whenever i feel stress i wud like to have a chat with her (till now i still like to talk to some1 at these times) but she wud juz say she was busy or wun reply my msg at all... in the end i found another solution, take a nap and face the stress again... i still had the feeling of how her hug feels like... but now shes oredi in somebody else's arm... how fortunate she is and left me alone juz like that... LOVE is DAMN ugly and CRUEL... (or is it bcz i still cant let it go???)
2nd regret is hurting my godsis... she is another beauty that attract me... in the first place, i dun wan her to be my sis juz wanna her to remain as fren cuz i had my gf with me at that time... but eventually i acknowledge her as my godsis, and i do occasionally told her i wud like to be her bf but got rejected again and again... all was well till she wanted me to help her on a major problem... i sort things thru for her and money was involved... and during this period, i keep asking her to go out wid me... and she thought i was actually pressing her for the money... no matter how i explain, she still think it is... and i know, commonly its the way ppl feel... but i dun actually wanted it to be this way... in the end, we had a quarrel and stopped contacting each other for a while (been months) even now we still do send a few msg to each other occasionally, its hard to date her out again... i dunnoe if anyone a mindset when u read till here, i like her and was wooing her during that period... but anyway the harm is done... no use regretting (but i do really regret)...
these 2 regrets occur to me when i saw my godsis photo juz now... she was a beauty... and i wondered how things wud be if i had not done so at that time... regrets... there may b more regrets to come...

MeLzzz's feeling at 3:33 AM.